saudade
by oh-the-linsanity
Summary: Everyone's got memories of a holiday they couldn't have been on, or a party they never went to—or met someone for the first time and felt like they've known them all their lives. /AU/


_"Everyone's got memories of a holiday they couldn't have been on, or a party they never went to-or met someone for the first time and felt like they've known them all their lives." -The Doctor_

_saudade_

* * *

Sakura Haruno wants to grow up to be a lot of things. When she is six, she goes on a school field trip to the planetarium. She learns about the expanding universe and how stars are born and she thinks, yeah, I'd like to go to space one day. She buys toy rockets and sticks glow in the dark stars on her ceilings in constellations of her own design and wonders if she'll live long enough to see a supernova. When she is eight, she wants to own a bakery because her mother had the best recipes and Sakura just wants everyone to know how good her mom's chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. When she's nine, she wants to be a ballerina, when she's eleven she wants to be a race car driver, and when she's thirteen she wants to be a writer. It isn't until she's sixteen she decides she wants to be an actress, because she figures that way she has a chance at being everything, even if it is just pretending.

But every night, she dreams of being a doctor.

* * *

She thinks déjà vu is a disease. All her life she's haunted with things she isn't sure has happened. But that's not how déjà vu works, not really. This is different, but not quite, and she's simple frustrated in not knowing why. Her memories are a mess. Sakura knows her city like the back of her hand; she's lived there her entire life. She's had the same friends since she was little, and her parents have been reasonably annoying since she was old enough to do the dishes. Her life is pretty simple, all wrapped up in a bow, but she feels like someone's been missing her entire life, and she doesn't know who. Someone bright, someone happy…blue eyes...

Sometimes, she feels incredibly homesick, and that doesn't make any sense.

* * *

Sometimes she catches Sasuke just staring. Sometimes it's at nothing in particular, sometimes it's everything and she guess that sometimes it's all of it wrapped up in one, whatever that means. But all the while, this pained look strikes his face, and his mouth parts slightly, the corners of his mouth tug down with the weight of shock and sorrow. She wonders if he knows how unbelievably sad he looks, eyes that look sprinkled in ash, an aftermath of a burning fire that left scars she can't find.

What she doesn't know is he catches her staring, too.

* * *

Sasuke thinks Sakura doesn't add up right.

She's his best friend, always has been. But sometimes she doesn't act like it. There are times, times he likes to pretend don't really happen, when those viridian green eyes widen in fear. She just looks at him completely terrified like he's a monster, like he's laid a hand on her. Those are the times she avoids him. Not in the conventional sense, but Sakura sometimes feels miles apart when she stands next to him. Their shoulders will bump, his hand will brush against hers, and she'll flinch like she's just been burned.

But other times she bites her lip, bounces on her toes, hovers over him. It's like her eyes never leave him. She'll wrap her arm around his when they walk to school and she walks him back home, just to make sure he gets there in one piece. He loves her, and she loves him, just like friends do, but this isn't normal. It isn't until they're eighteen that he finally asks what her deal is. She shrugs, shaking her head, and he knows that her answer won't make sense to him—it sure as hell doesn't make any sense to her.

"It's almost like you're never quite here."

What actually doesn't make sense is that he understands.

* * *

He runs into her on that obnoxious orange bicycle. Her eyes slam shut as the same time her head slams into the ground and she lays there for a few seconds dreaming of all the ways to kill this kid for running her over. But she doesn't lay there long, as seconds later she's hoisted off the dirt, a pair of strong arms hooked behind her knees and shoulders. Her eyes are still closed in fear of meeting a world where everything spins, but the kid—who may not be much of a kid, judging by his strength—screams all sorts of things, some at her, some for random help, anything to get her to prove she's okay.

She finally opens them when she feels—_is he running?_—wind in her hair. "You _idiot," _she moans. "What kind of moron just—" but she doesn't finish as they come to a screeching halt.

He's got blonde hair that could seriously use a brush seeing as it's sticking up and falling over all at once. His skin is tan and calloused and he's got these blue eyes—not those clichéd ones where they hold the ocean or the sky—just blue. But my, what a blue they are. He smiles at her this little crooked smile, white teeth poking out at the side, and she hasn't seen a happier smile in her entire life.

But she knows this smile, she's seen it a million times, she _swears _on it—maybe in the markets, maybe at school, but she's dreamed of it a million times. "It's you…" she breathes, unable to keep from staring.

Amusement dances across his face and she feels his chest rumble with a poorly repressed laugh. "You alright there?" he asks softly. Sakura feels vaguely peeved that if he can talk this quietly, why he chose to scream his head off moments before. She rolls her eyes, trying not to notice how embarrassed she is over the entire situation; her hand goes up to smack his arm gently. "You can put me down now."

He holds her tighter, shakes his head. But still, that dumb grin remains.

He continues to carry her, despite her protests. They draw attention from other townsfolk—but they look on with knowing smiles, gentle expressions. They think the two of them are a couple, Sakura knows that, but for some reason she doesn't mind. She continues to stare up at him as he looks ahead. Every once in awhile, he'll look down at her—their eyes will meet and it won't be two seconds later that a bright red blush blooms on his face and he'll look back. She wiggles in his hold. "I know you," she tells him.

He looks down once more, this time with confusion. "Hmm?"

"I know you—I've seen you before."

He turns a corner and he finally sets her down in front of an ice cream parlor. "Ice cream is the best medicine for bruised noggins," he tells her, opening the door. "Well, don't just stand there—I'm offering you free ice cream! You should be running in there!" he's jumping up and down, trying to usher her inside. A couple walking by goes in, nodding at him in thanks as he continues to hold the door open. He gives her this puppy dog look and she finally rolls her eyes and walks into the parlor. He orders her them each an ice cream cone, strawberry [his favorite] for him, vanilla [they didn't have mint] for her.

"Did we go to school together?" Sakura asks casually, holding her cone up to catch a melting drop from slithering down her wrist. She smacks her lips, wiping the vanilla from the corner of her mouth.

The much taller blonde shrugs, taking a big bite of his cone as they head back to where he left his bike—she hopes no one stole, but then again it was a pretty ugly bike, she figures no one would want it. "Nah, don't think so." he says simply. He bumps her shoulder lightly and she looks up. "I'd remember a pretty girl with pink hair," he winks.

Sakura grumbles something about not being a sap, and he flinches like she's about to hit him—funny this is, she thinks about it, but she doesn't. He relaxes in seconds. "I just moved here," he tells her, as a means of further explanation. "Grew up on the other side of the world, actually."

Befuddled, Sakura stops walking, and waves her cone about. "No, that's not possible," she grinds out, and there's a tinge of frustration in her voice. "Because…" she looks around and points down the street. "I know you. You've been here for as long as..as I remember."

"Maybe it's just someone that _looks_ like me?" she swears he's doing this on purpose.

"_No one_ looks like you," she says without thinking, and she suppresses a groan as that smile of his becomes more enticing. She sighs, licking the last of her ice cream. "Well, whatever. I know I must have seen you at least once." she finally decides, not caring what kind of excuses he'll put up to contradict this.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because, I've dreamed of you." It doesn't even take a second before he's leaning down in her peripherals, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You've _dreamed _of me huh? Can't say I blame you—I'm quite the catch." This time she really does hit him, a good punch to the gut. He hunches over in pain for a few seconds, letting out a raggedy, "Nice punch you got there."

"Not like _that_ you pervert," she scoffs, and what do you know she's blushing _again. _"But you can't dream of someone you've never met."

He leans up, wolfs the rest of his ice cream down in one bite. He wipes the remnants of strawberry off his fingers before he offers her the gentlest look—like he knew everything about her, like he was by her side all her life, a look that didn't need any words, but he says them anyway.

"Well then-"

_["Heh, Sakura-chan you've gotten stronger! Keep it up and we'll bring Sasuke back in no time!"_

_"Hey, what's the matter, Sakura-chan!"_

_"Aww, don't be like that! We'll get him next time! I'll be even stronger, believe it!"_

_"Come on, just one more bowl of ramen, please? Sakura-chaaaan."]_

"-maybe they aren't dreams then."

She closes her eyes, shakes her head, as if it'll push the thoughts out of her mind. They're only dreams, she tells herself, a little mantra inside her head. But then she feels something wet and sloppy kiss her on her cheek. Her eyes fly open, but he's already halfway down the street, waving comically at her.

"Sorry about that, my lips just…slipped, yeah! Got to run! I'll see you around, okay? Believe it!" He's laughing wildly, and the sound makes her just want to smack that stupid _shit-eating grin off his goddamn face._

Sakura huffs. "You're an idiot, Naruto!" she yells.

"I know, Sakura, I know!"

It isn't until she's halfway home that she realizes they never asked for each other's names.

* * *

_"Hey, Sakura-chan?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"...How'd you know strawberry ice cream was my favorite?"_

_" I dunno. I just knew."_


End file.
